Wendy's W Burger [not quite as bad as the president]

im not as nutso into food blogs as i was a few years ago... i occasionally keep up on The Girl Who Ate Everything and Thursday Night Smackdown, more because i love these ladies and want to know whats going on in their lives [both of them give you those "omg are you dead??" hiatuses occasionally], and also largely because of their humor. ive been a little into A Cozy Kitchen lately too. but pretty much the only site i read for its food content alone is GrubGrade, which is mostly fast food related. for some reason road testing all the new special items at all the fast food places is really interesting to me, i dont know why. i dont even eat fast food that much anymore, but for some reason i like to stay updated on all the new goods. i catch up on their site every few weeks and when i read the review of the new W burger at wendy's i remembered, hey, i ate that!


so in what i think was my last meal with my lovely friend Josh before he moved back to california, we went to wendys. big spenders. i was sadly very excited because i dont get to eat fast food very often anymore [diet, money, location etc] and im lame enough to find all the options of ordering very exciting. i was like "oooh! new W burger! i must try that." im a fan of the double cheese and i loose my SHIT over a "special sauce." condiments are the best. so i ordered: W burger meal with fries, and a 5 piece chicken nugget, because their nuggets are awesome and i have this thing about wanting to have one beef and one chicken item at fast food places. balance!

not pictured: what i actually received.


so i got my food. part of the problem may have been that i waited a bit to eat, until josh got his. he got caught up in a weird conversation with the odd older lady working the counter, when his question about the difference in items received an answer involving "big meat" and "small meat," two phrases i really didnt want to hear. this lady was seriously odd. i ordered and when i was finished, she just stared at me blankly until i said "...thats all." you know, if youre confused as to whether im done ordering, the typical thing to do is to ask "anything else?" not just... stare.


nonetheless. i cracked into the burger and fries. first off, im not too nuts about wendy's "new" fries which apparently i havent tried since they came out a year ago [not seeing my ex anymore has put a serious dent in my wendys consumption]. not digging it. i like a skinnier fry, crispier on the outside. i gotta say the best fries are probably dairy queens, they've got this wonderful exterior thats unmatched. burger kings are pretty good too. not digging these natural sea salt things. i guess im glad that they come from real potatoes and shit... but i honestly cant appreciate the difference. but im not much of a fry girl anyway. they're honestly something i just mindlessly nom, not really enjoy. a paltry side gig to the real show, the MEAT.

but oh, this burger. how i wanted to love it. "two patties of 100% pure beef, two slices of American cheese, thick-sliced tomato, and our savory signature sauce — all on a buttered, toasted bun"? YEAH. but it all falls apart in the construction. what i got was seriously probably the messiest fast food burger ive ever eaten. just sloppy all over the place. TONS of this mystery 'signature sauce,' which despite being all over my burger and hands had virtually no flavor. seriously, i had josh taste it, and he concurred, "it tastes like nothing." kind of like really, really watery bland thousand island. THAT IS NOT A BURGER SAUCE. UNACCEPTABLE. added nothing to the burger except mess, and what a shame! because what awesomeness a good sauce can add to a burger! and then the toppings... lettuce which probably had gotten wilty by fault of my waiting, and SUPER strong onions that had to be removed. two patties slopping all over the place. soggy bun. bleh :( i dont know if i finished it. it had some of the typical enjoyability of meat-plus-melty-cheese, which wendys usually gets right [their beef and cheese has more of a "real" taste and texture than the other fast food joints, i find, and their cheese melts in a non-plasticy manner], but thats kind of a given. i was disappoint. 

on the other hand, the chicken nuggets were super hot and awesome as usual. i think in the future i will stick with my usual #1 or #2 with nuggets or chili. 

i really do like trying new things at fast food places. i get excited when theres something i want to try. usually it ends up being a disappointment, though. kind of like a blind date. 

[ive tried like four times to fix the font issue at the end there, i dont know what the fuck is going on . i give up.]