Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Foodage: Denny's food wars, Happy Chef gorging, mystery sauce!

VELCOMEN to the new incarnation of Nom Mitten! its come to my attention that livejournal is a bit passe so we have moved over here so that nom mitten can be with its sister blog, Last Night's Glitter.

for my newbies out there, you can catch up on old nom mitten foodventures at our old blog. some good stuff on there, if i do say so myself, but a lot of it is really old.

now, assorted foodery! [forgive me FB friends, some of these have already made an appearance in my Foodventures album.]

my best boo Jackerella [Jackie S.] and i have a longstanding tradition of mini food contests. this began one fateful day at Applebees [the st cloud lesbian hangout] when i ordered one of the mini dessert shooters and said "wanna see me put all the whipped cream in my mouth at once?" ahh, hopefully those epic words will end up on my tombstone someday. for those not hip to the 'Bee [we seriously call it that; we're lame], the best dessert shooter is the chocolate mousse, which is a double shot glass with crumbled oreos on the bottom, nummy chocolate mousse an a plum-sized portion of whipped cream on top. a mouthful of whipped cream may seem easy to you, and it sort of is, compared to like, a mouthful of refried beans for example, but all the air or whatever infused in the reddi whip makes it a really weird, difficult to... chew... process... swallow... mouthful. so this is what happened:

i believe the next time we played this game, i challenged jackie to do the whipped cream and i did the chocolate mousse. im not sure why im so obsessed with these games, as im TERRIBLE at them. i have a tiny mouth [though its not the size of the mouth but what you do with it, amirite? ...*ahem*... ] and i always start laughing and spew everywhere. but this is like THE ONLY thing jackie and i are competitive about, both being pretty easygoing *meh* kind of people. but food, oh yeah, we can do that.

the contest moved from desserts at the 'Bee to appetizers at Dennys [our late nite eat when im down at Jackie's in St Paul/Maplewood]. we did it with nachos once, and then, most epically, with cheese fries.

this is the wad of crapola i shoved in my mouth. i hope it looks big in the photo because it fucking was. and seriously, my mouth is small. its like a baby mouth. i did my damned best though. i shoved it in there, chewed, tried not to laugh... then i inhaled a peice of bacon. and choked. and spit the entire half-chewed wad back onto my plate. there was laughter and tears. then i SUCKED IT UP AND FINISHED EATING IT. ***CHAMP***

ok, jackie is the actual champ, because she actually ate hers in one bite. but i get an A for effort.

you see here the major dipping action. were minnesotans, we love us some ranch dressing!! although i believe the ranch dippage proved to be a very disgusting mistake.

sizing up that mofo. can she do it? of course she can! check out how felix is totally ready to take a bite o' those fries too!! FELIX HONGRY!!

and CHOMP. this is maybe my favorite jackie action shot ever. thats some serious crammage. it totally looks like shes going to make it, isnt it? but oh, then there was fail. there was ranch drippage all over her face. i had to look away. i was crying. it was horrific. but i think eventually she did get it down.

it should also be noted that our waiter was a mondo bitch and we seriously could not get him to stand next to our table long enough to ask for ranch. including when he threw the food down. the mofo bolted. this was before the embarrassing chomping so he had no excuse to be a douche.

another adventure: Happy Chef in Mankato at 3 am. usually i love me some 3 am perkins, but when one has the option of visiting the creepiest mascot in the midwest, how can you go anywhere else?

god damn he is a creepy fucker.

anyways, we ordered a shit ton of food. it was actually the night Jackie's dad passed away and i might have been indulging in some food therapy. i eat when im stressed and depressed, and i also have a tendency to want to feed people. solution for grief? APPETIZER SAMPLER. especially when one contains:

"as an appetizer or a meal!" Jackie introduced me to the delight of fried pickles this summer at Green Mill in New Ulm, and i had to haz more... i was also seriously lured by this mysterious sign, whose mishmash of fonts and odd lettuce presentation remind me of the 50s & 60s cookbooks from [MN writer] Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Foods.

they arrived, slightly less blurry than pictured above. btw arent you glad i love you enough to take clear pictures and rotate them in the right direction?? wait... oh isnt it sad when you realize mommy doesnt love you, or at least that she loves vodka more? anyways. these were not as good as Green Mill's variety [which by the way, i think they only have in New Ulm... or at least they dont have them in St Cloud], which are chips served with a spicy ranch. i dont think pickles fry well in spear form. being that the interior is more moist with pickle juice, its like a billion degrees. hot pickle juice = not so good.

i had a mysterious 3am craving for an open faced meatloaf sandwich, dont ask me why. meatloaf was one of the meals i hated most as a kid, uber boring, right? but my mom served it with the ketchupy sauce baked on top, not smothered in delicious brown gravy like this. OMFG, id do anything for beef gravy. i literally licked this off the plate. it was delicious. also came, mysteriously, with an onion ring on top.

so sunday night i went to La Casita here in St Cloud with my parents. nothing new, both of them are obsessed with that place and we go there often. ive had their fajitas before because the steak is awesome and you get enough food for two meals [i always try to maximize my free meal experience], but this was the first time i got the fajitas supremas: chicken, steak AND shrimp. booyah!

it was good as usual. all thats left in the above photograph was the last peices of steak for my leftovers fajita. good stuff. the real deal was better as there were plenty of fixins: guacamole, pico de gallo, beans and more. it also came with two mystery sauces id never gotten at  La Casita before!! i mean, this is place where you have to ask for a bottle of hot sauce, its not even on the TABLE.

on the top is a very brilliant green sauce which tastes pretty much like it looks: bright, green, fresh. a little spicy, very cilantroific. on the bottom is a very liquidy, pale salsa which had some serious fire. im pretty spice tolerant, id have no problem drinking a taco bell fire sauce packet and i like my sushi with a dab of straight wasabi on top. but something in this concoction left my lips a-burnin to the point where i was like "beverage! *choke* beverage!" i was pleasantly surprised-- ive never had anything even remotely spicy there before, except a mild kick in the salsa that comes with the chips [which is excellent, btw, my favorite in st cloud, super fresh]. kudos, La Casita. i have mixed feelings about all the StC mexican joints and i like them all for various reasons, but i still prefer Guadalajara's because their owners are actually mexican and their recipes come from their family in Jasilico.

hope y'all like the new blog! i promise ill update more often!

ps- omg i totally forgot there was a repurposed Happy Chef statue in Princeton for awhile at the totally ghetto A-Z Restaurant thingy, where my friend Sara worked. he seems a little less creepy, and he looks kind of like steve carrell. thanks google!... aww, my town's on google!

1 comment:

  1. is it just the light or did they paint the A-Z chef's fingernails white? omg i think they did. how queer!