Viva Parmigiana

[i cannot for the life of me get these little black bastards straight. theyre evil.]

ok, so what the fuck is up with me and cooking? im not illiterate. i can follow a recipe. yet i just tried to make these Roasted Chickpeas and burned the everloving shit out of them. note to self: if you think to yourself "hmm, smells like theyre burning. theyre probably not though. thats probably just the smell of them getting nice and roasted," NO, THEYRE ACTUALLY BURNING. TAKE THEM OUT OF THE FUCKING OVEN. there were about ten chickpeas that were not black, and i just ate those, and they were pretty good. i dunno. i could buy another can and try again, cuz i really want to season these all spicy and indian. but then again, FUCK YOU CHICKPEAS, i didnt want you anyways, you dont get any second chances with me.

More Failures!:

ever since i pillaged my moms New Betty Crocker Cookbook for recipes this summer, ive been wanting to make this Mozzarella and Pesto Strata. i dont know why. im starting to doubt my taste buds, or rather the part of my brain that reads a recipe and conjures up an idea of what it might taste like. that is obviously miswired. maybe its my bipolar brain, or my meds. i did stop liking the taste of ranch dressing when i started taking welbutrin, so who knows.

heres the recipe. judge for yourself.

Mozzarella and Pesto Strata
16 slices [3/4 in thick] french bread [about half a loaf]
1/2c basil pesto
1/2c sliced ripe olives*
1 jar roasted red bell peppers, drained and sliced thinly**
2c shredded mozzarella cheese
8 large eggs
2c milk
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp pepper
2 tbsp freshly shredded Parmesan cheese

1. spray 13x9" glass baking dish with cooking spray. spread one side of each bread slice with basil pesto. arrange bread, pesto sides up, in baking dish, cutting slices to fit if necessary. sprinkle with olives, roasted peppers and mozzarella cheese.
2. in medium bowl, beat eggs, milk, salt and pepper with fork or whisk until well blended. pour evenly over cheese. sprinkle with Parmesan cheese. cover and refrigerate 2-24 hours.
3. heat oven to 325 degrees. bake uncovered 55-60 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean, and top is golden brown. let stand 5 minutes before cutting.

*ok, i really tried my damnedest to follow this recipe to the letter. really the only changes were that ive had this jar of olives sitting on my microwave [where it hangs out with my other pretty jarred things, like this chutney i may or may not use someday] for months, which i bought partially because its pretty, and because i like olives a lot, and because i thought i might use it in this recipe. theyre mixed olives seasoned with garlic and herbs, and i painstakingly pitted and sliced 1/2 cup of them.

[if you like pretty jarred things to hang out in your kitchen, i once again recommend tj maxx. they have tons of them and theyre all around $3 or so, way cheaper than at the grocery store or a fancy specialty food shop. id normally be leery of buying food at discount-ish store, but since theyre jarred theres no harm, right?]
**i also used about half the jar, since i wasnt so sure i was going to like the peppers. im a little pepper-phobic, for texture rather than taste.

so all went well, in this cooking process. i was actually hungry when i assembled it, and was majorly disappointed when i got to the "chill for 2-24 HOURS" part. yikes. but i chilled it, and eventually baked it, and... meh. i knew as soon as i took the first few bites that i didnt like it. the olive taste was totally overwhelming, and just didnt jive. i ate around the olives and red peppers for the duration of the first piece, and that was alright. my mom makes this thing we call "Egg Bake," a pretty popular dish which is basically the same bread-and-egg thing but with diced ham and cheddar cheese. SO GOOD. so simple but so awesome. that fluffy, eggy bread. the crusty cheesy top. mmm. this was good, with the mozzarella and Parmesan. it would be better with say, some spinach, maybe some roasted or sun dried tomatoes? maybe some pancetta? i hate it when i couldve winged the recipe better than the original. and what really gets me is the time and money wasted. a loaf of bread and 8 eggs wasted? a whole fucking bag of cheese? i ended up throwing the whole thing in the garbage, because if im not going to eat it, no one is. i was grr. there are no pictures because i seriously threw it away before i could take any.

but then! success!

Eggplant Parmigiana
2c tomato pasta sauce
2 small unpeeled eggplants, about 1 lb each
1 large egg
2 tbsp water
2/3c dry breadcrumbs [i used panko]
1/3c grated Parmesan cheese
1/4c olive oil [more if needed]
2c shredded mozzarella
i also used some spices:
salt
pepper
paprika
cayenne pepper
*i actually just kind of winged this, because i happened to have a spare eggplant and remembered this recipe, and i happened to have everything else needed. so i made about 1/2 this recipe, using the one eggplant, half a jar of leftover vodka sauce and 1 cup of mozzarella.

1.heat oven to 350 degrees.
2. cut eggplants into 1/4 inch slices. in shallow dish, mix egg and water. in another shallow dish, mix breadcrumbs and Parmesan cheese, season with salt, pepper, paprika, and a pinch of cayenne to taste. dip eggplant slices in egg mixture, then coat evenly with breadcrumbs.
3. in 12" skillet, heat oil over medium heat. cook half the eggplant at a time about 5 minutes, turning once until light brown and crispy on the outside. repeat with remaining eggplant, adding 1-2 more teaspoons of oil if necessary.
4. in ungreased 11x7 glass baking dish, place half the eggplant, overlapping slices slightly. spoon half the sauce over eggplant. sprinkle with one cup of mozzarella cheese. repeat with remaining eggplant, sauce, and cheese.
5. back uncovered 25 minutes or until bubbly and cheese is lightly browned.

[looks gross. dont care]

this turned out SO. FUCKING. GOOD. i wish i had more of it. i wish i had it right now. it was a little labor intensive, slicing and breading the eggplant, and im not very good at frying. having the eggplant 1/4 in thick is really key, so it cooks through and browns on the outside at the exact same time.

[ohhhhhh yeaaaaaahhhhh]

so good. seriously. simple. the eggplant flavor still comes through despite the frying and the sauce. melty. delicious. i seriously wouldnt change a thing about this recipe, except make more of it. ill probably buy another jar of vodka sauce instead of getting the traditional marinara because i dont even want to fuck with whats seriously the only recipe thats come off without a hitch for a long time.

hallelujah!

Wendy's W Burger [not quite as bad as the president]

im not as nutso into food blogs as i was a few years ago... i occasionally keep up on The Girl Who Ate Everything and Thursday Night Smackdown, more because i love these ladies and want to know whats going on in their lives [both of them give you those "omg are you dead??" hiatuses occasionally], and also largely because of their humor. ive been a little into A Cozy Kitchen lately too. but pretty much the only site i read for its food content alone is GrubGrade, which is mostly fast food related. for some reason road testing all the new special items at all the fast food places is really interesting to me, i dont know why. i dont even eat fast food that much anymore, but for some reason i like to stay updated on all the new goods. i catch up on their site every few weeks and when i read the review of the new W burger at wendy's i remembered, hey, i ate that!


so in what i think was my last meal with my lovely friend Josh before he moved back to california, we went to wendys. big spenders. i was sadly very excited because i dont get to eat fast food very often anymore [diet, money, location etc] and im lame enough to find all the options of ordering very exciting. i was like "oooh! new W burger! i must try that." im a fan of the double cheese and i loose my SHIT over a "special sauce." condiments are the best. so i ordered: W burger meal with fries, and a 5 piece chicken nugget, because their nuggets are awesome and i have this thing about wanting to have one beef and one chicken item at fast food places. balance!

not pictured: what i actually received.


so i got my food. part of the problem may have been that i waited a bit to eat, until josh got his. he got caught up in a weird conversation with the odd older lady working the counter, when his question about the difference in items received an answer involving "big meat" and "small meat," two phrases i really didnt want to hear. this lady was seriously odd. i ordered and when i was finished, she just stared at me blankly until i said "...thats all." you know, if youre confused as to whether im done ordering, the typical thing to do is to ask "anything else?" not just... stare.


nonetheless. i cracked into the burger and fries. first off, im not too nuts about wendy's "new" fries which apparently i havent tried since they came out a year ago [not seeing my ex anymore has put a serious dent in my wendys consumption]. not digging it. i like a skinnier fry, crispier on the outside. i gotta say the best fries are probably dairy queens, they've got this wonderful exterior thats unmatched. burger kings are pretty good too. not digging these natural sea salt things. i guess im glad that they come from real potatoes and shit... but i honestly cant appreciate the difference. but im not much of a fry girl anyway. they're honestly something i just mindlessly nom, not really enjoy. a paltry side gig to the real show, the MEAT.

but oh, this burger. how i wanted to love it. "two patties of 100% pure beef, two slices of American cheese, thick-sliced tomato, and our savory signature sauce — all on a buttered, toasted bun"? YEAH. but it all falls apart in the construction. what i got was seriously probably the messiest fast food burger ive ever eaten. just sloppy all over the place. TONS of this mystery 'signature sauce,' which despite being all over my burger and hands had virtually no flavor. seriously, i had josh taste it, and he concurred, "it tastes like nothing." kind of like really, really watery bland thousand island. THAT IS NOT A BURGER SAUCE. UNACCEPTABLE. added nothing to the burger except mess, and what a shame! because what awesomeness a good sauce can add to a burger! and then the toppings... lettuce which probably had gotten wilty by fault of my waiting, and SUPER strong onions that had to be removed. two patties slopping all over the place. soggy bun. bleh :( i dont know if i finished it. it had some of the typical enjoyability of meat-plus-melty-cheese, which wendys usually gets right [their beef and cheese has more of a "real" taste and texture than the other fast food joints, i find, and their cheese melts in a non-plasticy manner], but thats kind of a given. i was disappoint. 

on the other hand, the chicken nuggets were super hot and awesome as usual. i think in the future i will stick with my usual #1 or #2 with nuggets or chili. 

i really do like trying new things at fast food places. i get excited when theres something i want to try. usually it ends up being a disappointment, though. kind of like a blind date. 

[ive tried like four times to fix the font issue at the end there, i dont know what the fuck is going on . i give up.]

A Tale of Two Enchiladas

Hey girl. how've you been these last eight months? in all this time, we could have almost produced a fully formed food baby.

So i have a new apartment now, and ive actually been cooking to some degree. i have a nice, huge kitchen, and i get food stamps now so i can actually afford to buy the components for almost any recipe. this led to some wild experimentation in the first two months, with many failures, and now im kind of back to that sad state of only cooking what i know i can make with some reasonable guarantee of success. youve burned me one too many times, Rachael Ray! fuck your italian tuna casserole, fuck your crab and corn mac and cheese!

honestly i find that most recipes need at least a little tweaking. i hate to think its because i cant handle strange new flavors, but there always seems to be some element thats slightly "off." maybe Rachael Ray is just a terrible cook [highly possible]. ive had a little bit better luck with The New Betty Crocker Cookbook i borrowed from my mom, where i got the recipe for these cheese enchiladas.



general ingredients:
2c shredded monterey jack cheese
1c shredded cheddar cheese
1/2 c sour cream [plus more for garnish]
1 medium onion, chopped
2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley [i used dried, because walmarts fresh parsley looked gross]
1/4 tsp pepper
1 can tomato sauce [more discrepancies below]
1 small green bell pepper, chopped
1 can chopped green chilies, drained
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
2/3c water
1 tbsp chili powder
1 1/2 tsp chopped fresh or 1/2 tsp dried oregano
1/4 tsp ground cumin
8 corn tortillas, 5-6" round [as you can see mine somehow made like, 11 enchiladas]

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In medium bowl mix cheese, sour cream, onion, parsley and pepper. refrigerate. ok, so an entire medium onion seems like a metric fuckton of onion to me. but i was trying to be good and follow the recipe so thats what i did, and skeptically mixed it in with my precious cheeses.
3. In two quart saucepan, heat tomato sauce, bell pepper, chilies, garlic, water, chili powder, oregano and cumin to boiling, stirring occasionally. reduce heat. simmer uncovered 5 minutes. so instead of the can of tomato sauce i bought a can of actual enchilada sauce, and then doctored it up with the chopped bell pepper, garlic, cumin and probably some other crap. i dont really like regular red or green bell peppers, so i bought these adorable mini sweet bell peppers and finely chopped a couple of them. highly recommended! theyre so cute! they dont have that super juicy crunch that for some reason i dislike about regular peppers. 
4. Spoon just enough of the sauce into the bottom of a 11x7" glass baking dish to thinly cover the bottom. then take each tortilla, dip it in the pot of enchilada sauce, and fill with a line of the cream cheese mixture. this is an extremely messy process, no way around it. roll up each enchilada and place in baking dish seam side down. repeat until you run out of filling. pour remaining sauce over enchiladas. the recipe doesnt call for cheese on top, which i think is pretty weird because thats how enchiladas always roll in my [extremely not mexican] family. so i covered them with some additional cheese. if you bought a whole bag of shredded cheddar, you should have a cup left and that should be about enough. 
5. Bake uncovered for 20 minutes or until bubbly. garnish with sour cream, hot sauce, lettuce, whatever.

Or in my case, serve along with spanish rice with a fried egg on top, because FUCK YEAH and thats way too much food. these are topped with Mrs Renfros jalapeno green salsa, which is awesome. i think green sauce goes really well with the straight up cheesiness of the enchiladas, cutting it with spice and slight acidity.

So, my verdict on the enchiladas: pretty good. when i think "cheese enchilada" i usually think straight up melted cheddar cheese, like that little bonus enchilada you get along with combo meals at mexican restaurants. or the crappy yet delicious lowbrow enchiladas in my $2 El Charrito meals. so it was odd to adjust to the addition of sour cream in these, but it was good. what i couldnt really get used to was the abundance of onions. just kind of weird. maybe i just dont like onions that much that i want them to be like 50% of my enchilada filling. but i did pass some of these along to my boo jackie and asked if the onions bugged her too, and her response was pretty much just "i dunno. i wolfed them down. they were good." i think she might have called herself a human garbage disposal. *thumbs up*...?

Were i do make these again id definitely cut down the onion, and probably do green sauce all over instead of the red sauce. this also makes way more than one person could conceivably eat in a normal time period, so i suggest you cut the recipe in half, or freeze half of it, or give some away to a hungry friend like i did. 

The first enchiladas were like two months ago. i think it was the first thing i cooked in the new apartment. i even had to go out and buy the casserole for it [WHICH, if youre in the market for one, go to TJ Maxx, i got this one for like $6. i was also followed around by what i can only describe as two teenage groupies who caressed my tattoos and told me how cool i was. seriously. that actually happened. i was like, IM JUST TRYING TO BUY A CASSEROLE WHY DO YOU THINK IM COOL. so maybe also check out TJ Maxx if youre in the market for groupies]. anyways, a couple months later and i was hungry for enchiladas again. i decided to wing this recipe, kinda based off the first one. 

enchiladas take two:

approx 3c of shredded cheese. i used a bag of mexican three cheese, half a bag of extra sharp cheddar and a pinch of something else that was languishing in my fridge. lemme say... when in doubt, always buy more cheese. i have this pathological fear of not having enough cheese.

1lb ground beef

1 can enchilada sauce, i got the spiciest one i could find

1 can chopped green chilies, drained

1 can pinto beans, drained

1 can RoTel or similar diced tomatoes with spices etc

1 packet of enchilada seasoning mix

approx 5 large flour tortillas

1/4 tsp cumin

1/2 tsp oregano

spices as desired:

garlic [i was too lazy to chop a clove, and i got this new dried garlic grinder so i used that]

mccormicks montreal chicken seasoning [or meat seasoning of your choice]

mccormicks fiery 5 pepper blend [or red pepper flakes, cayenne, chili powder etc]

Worcestershire sauce

salt

fresh ground pepper

a little water

hot sauce and sour cream for garnish

*i wanted to add chopped onion to the beef and some diced peppers for the sauce, also some shredded lettuce for garnish. unfortunately it was about 2am  [when i like to shop] and the entire produce area of Coborns was roped off for floor cleaning. WTF! nocturnal shoppers need produce! so, thanks to Coborns, there is literally nothing healthy in these enchiladas at all. 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

2. Season the ground beef with the garlic, montreal chicken and five pepper seasonings, worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper, as much as youd like. i ususally just cover the top surface of the beef liberally and then mix the spices through and it comes out okay. brown the beef over medium-high heat. when its just about done add half of the can of diced green chilies. when the beef is browned, drain. add 3/4 of the can of RoTel and the packet of enchilada seasoning. stir, and then add a little water as needed until seasoning is blended in and the mixture is moist but not soupy [you dont need to add quite as much water as called for on the seasoning packet, since the RoTel adds some moisture as well].

3. In a bowl, mix the can of enchilada sauce, cumin, oregano, remaining diced chilies, the remaining RoTel, a little pepper, and a little hot sauce. 

4. Spoon just enough of the sauce into the bottom of a 11x7" glass baking dish to thinly cover the bottom. Then take a tortilla, add a spoonful of pinto beans in a thin line, then cover the beans with a line of the ground beef mixture. aaaaand the fun part... top with a handful of shredded cheese. roll up and place seam side down in the casserole. repeat until all filling is gone. pour the enchilada sauce over the top, then top liberally with cheese [hell yeah]. 

5. Bake uncovered 20 minutes until bubbly. garnish with sour cream, hot sauce etc. lettuce if Coborns will let you have it. 

The finished product. apologies for the weird, radioactive looking green substance atop the enchilada. i was going to buy some good guacamole to go alongside these [with the lettuce and the olives... sigh] but unfortunately that is in the PRODUCE SECTION as well. so this is Dean's zesty guacamole dip, found in the dairy section, which is yummy with chips but not really what i was going for, and might not contain any actual avocados. 

I think i went a little heavy handed with the fillings. these became like, Chipotle burrito weight. everything, really want a little heavy handed... a little too much sauce [and i dont think the sauce benefits at all from the RoTel and green chilies, i concede that smooth sauce is the way to go], not really diggin on the beans at all [refried would maybe be better], and dareisay maybe a little bit too much cheese. SACRILEGE. it might be this diet thing ive been on lately... this is seriously the biggest, heaviest thing ive eaten in a long time. ive been doing slimfast shakes and one smallish meal per day, and then these gutbombs. i gotta say though, the seasoned beef was really good. overall not too shabby. im giving two of them to jackie :) [j/k i ate them myself]

Im seriously unhappy with like, EVERYTHING i make lately. i think i actually like the act of cooking more than eating. even though i love the things other people cook for me. maybe im a terrible cook! i dont know. its good for my diet though. i pretty much make things and throw half of them away. i lost seven pounds in the last month. i can feel it around my chin and jawline, its pretty sweet. 

Maybe if you're lucky you'll hear from me again soon. im going to the Vietnamese restaurant down my street with a bunch of friends tomorrow, so perhaps ill report back on that. expect copious amounts of bad jokes involving "viet nom nom." 

Love you! check out a relatively recently updated Last Nights Glitter to find out kinda what ive been up to these many moons. and you can see some more of this magic shit: 

You're welcome.

Tiny Fucking Pies and Piggy Goodness

...or not.

omg, lets start this off with a healthy round of bitching. so today was payday, i booked it to walmart after work to cash my check and get my weekly fix of $5 movies and beautystuffs. then i treated myself to some fast food dinner. im in line at the Taco Bell when i see the above sign... the two new sauces are finally here!! the good folks at Grub Grade has been heralding and reviewing them for months now... looks like since October, and ive been checking every time i swing through hoping theyll finally hit st cloud. so im like *squee* cuz i love me some condiments and new food things, i order my chalupa combo and when i get up to the window im like, "can i get a bunch of each of the new sauces?"

the guys like, "what sauces?"

and im like "the new sauces." *points at the sign ON THE DRIVE THRU WINDOW showing the two new sauces* "the verde and the fire roasted."

drive thru man: "oh, we dont have the verde. we have the fire roasted though."

me: "uh, ok. can i have some of that?"

and he gives me some. and i was not satisfied, because they didnt have the frikken verde sauce, and the guy didnt know what i was talking about, and... grr. in conclusion, the fire roasted was alright... tasted kind of like barbeque. like barbeque mixed with pico de gallo. it was a nice addition to my baja chalupas, unfortunately not very spicy. looking forward to when we get the verde, hopefully soon. now im going to have to ask every time and feel like a fool because they probably wont have it for forever, grr.

so in other, more positive news, we went out the other night for birthday sushi part II aka SUSHI REMATCH with me & Jackie, Ashley, Weaver and Susannah. W&S eat at Fuji so much they know them there... when we walked in and told the manager [super nice adorable older lady] we were meeting people she was like "oh, Weaver?" like heck yes, our friend is Kind of a Big Deal at the sushi place. all was delicious as usual... we had the gyoza, Green River roll as yooj as well as our newest standby, the Super Crunchy roll [rolled in panko and deep fried! with cream cheese in it that gets all gooey!]. above is Susannah's Fancy Rainbow Roll [perhaps "super fancy"?] which i was hardcore eyeballin. look at all that pretty roe! the black kind was all shiny and alluring. will definately have to order that next time.

Fuji started doing this new thing where they give you little hot towels, individually wrapped with little Fuji wrappers! at first i was like sure, ive been here a billion times and i NEVER get a hot towel, but i come with Weaver once and everyones all "hot towel? hot towel?" but i was just being unnessesarily insecure, its a new thing. and it was somewhat refreshing. they got cold quickly. then jackie tore hers off and made super attractive pasties with them.

and one fell off. hmmm i wonder if its the lack of boobage to hold them on... 

Fuji Sushi & Steakhouse
148 2nd St S
Waite Park, MN 56387
(320) 252-3838
[sadly no website, which is unfortunate because i always want to browse the extensive menu and remember what all is in my favorite rolls... i need to remember to bring home some more takeout menus.]

in semi-recent history, me and Jackie and Amyboo went to China Star, the absolute best chinese buffet in town. the food was the usual... yummy, deep fried, inauthentic but delicious, etc. Amy had a chicken wing and she made it a little hat with the adorable mini pie pan from these:

omfg mini desserts!! isnt everything cuter when its in miniture? LOOK AT THAT TINY FUCKING PIE. isnt that just the cutest thing? unfortunately... it tasted like crap. it was just a little swirl of bland-tasting whipped cream. but... mini pie plate! and theres a mini cream puff, which also tasted terrible. weird, because when you buy mini cream puffs at walmart or wherever, theyre ungodly fucking delicious. cmon China Star, i know you can get them in bulk at Apperts for super cheap.

what you can barely see in the background is an entire table of churchy people, including like four priests. when they walked in i was like "omg lol priests" and Amy was like "oh HALE NO" cuz she does not particularly like clergy. and then she was like "priests cant eat chicken!!" way to make up totally imaginary dietary rules, boo. but it is odd that every other major religion has dietary restrictions, but christians are like nope, we can eat whatever the fuck we want. even shit we dont know what it is, like basically everything at China Star. i suppose theres the no meat on fridays during lent thing, but only serious catholics do that and even then apparently seafood isnt meat. what the hale. anyways... priestly weirdness. like three of them were really fat, and the other one was super creepy churchzombie looking and the parents kept entrusting their kids to him to take them up to the buffet, and we made some innapropriate comments that would definately be sending us to hell if we believed in that sort of thing.

then someone had the novel idea to mix some chocolate ice cream from the sundae machine in with the sweet and sour sauce. and jackie was like, oh, ill eat that. at first it looked almost pretty, it was all swirly, and i was thinking that maybe it might not be so bad... i mean, ice cream, and sweet and sour sauce has the sweet factor so its kind of like a topping... it might have worked better with vanilla...

and jackie ate it.

and it was grooooosssssssss.... this is a face we rarely see in jackie. it looks kind of like an orgasm, but its actually pure revulsion. there was much groaning and 'omg its so grosssssss'es to follow. according to jackie just now: "i dont know if there are words to describe it. it... was like vomit in my mouth. like there were two seperate things going on... it was a swirling vortex of bad."

China Star
1004 Division Street
Waite Park, MN 56387
(320) 255-5588

speaking of dietary restrictions... if your husband happens to be muslim, this is an excellent way to make sure he doesnt eat your leftovers. and if hes exceptionally dumb, like Amy's hubby, you can pull it off with all sorts of things... most notably a can of cashews. hey, they could be bacon-flavored cashews, you dont know! sprinkled with powdered piggy goodness.  works every time.

Your Hooters is in Other Castle!

As a gift to me because im so fucking awesome, White Castle is opening on February 15th, my birthday. however, the Hooters sign is still in place. ten days, people. ten days. jackie and i want to handwrite a sign that says WHITE CASTLE in spray paint and hang it over ye olde hootres sign.

hardees also opened up in sartell by the new walmart. as an avid grub grade reader, i feel like i have some kind of duty to the world to visit these establishments and report back. feel free to interpret "duty" as "complusion," im sure thats how my therapist would interpret it. im really sad because my partner in overindulgence, roommate jackerella, is afraid of white castle and had a tramatic experience with a wyoming hardees back in the day and so will not be going to either of these with me!! sad face!! but i feel like i can tempt her with takeout.

speaking of takeout!!! so we've both become addicted to Big Bang Theory, myself not just because of its hilarity but because of my reoccurring sex dreams about the cast [which have led to me referring to howard wolowitz as my secret lover... therapy item #2]. the devil about this show is they are ALWAYS EATING TAKEOUT!!! like at least once an episode, and its usually chinese or thai. OH THE CRAVINGS. first thing i did when i got paid this week was get some takeout chinese.... and i think another new project may be to check out all the itty bitty takeout chinese places ive never tried because they look sketchy. possible horrible results... but possible new addiction as well.

gtg, my pizzas here... buffalo chicken, mmm.

Vaginal Potsticker

sorry i havent updated lately. im kind of busy what with my boo jackie moving in this week. also not eating much of interest. to tide you over, here is a potsticker that looks like a vagina.

ugh... look at it glisten. jackerella and i were at TGIFridays getting our appetizers on, and i got this 3 appetizer combo [i shouldve gone with the jack daniels sampler like i wanted, jackie SAID she needed potato skins but she LIED and didnt eat any] with buffalo wings, potato skins and potstickers.

jackie: what the fuck are those?

me: potstickers.

jackie: they look vaginal.

me: YOU LOOK VAGINAL.

jackie: seriously they do.

[i actually look]

me: OH GOD THEY DO. AND ITS GLISTENING.

jackie wanted me to tongue it for a picture, but im sorry, i dont love you guys that much.

then it was all made better by their vanilla bean cheesecake, one of my favorite cheesecakes in the world [despite jackie insisting it was pudding... girl you were being a poop that night!! all hatin on my foodz.] but i like it. its fluffy and vanilla flavored and delicious and has white chocolate flakes on top.

more posts later. i still have some indian food to blog about. fuck i cant even talk about this right now.... i dont have any food or money til wednesday and tomorrow i might be eating nothing but sliced cheese and oatmeal. *cry*

And a Slappy New Queer

oh and i must say.... a beleted merry fucking christmas!

hope you enjoyed spending time with your family if your family is tolerable/actually shows up for xmas. if not i hope you had plenty of booze.