Tiny Fucking Pies and Piggy Goodness

...or not.

omg, lets start this off with a healthy round of bitching. so today was payday, i booked it to walmart after work to cash my check and get my weekly fix of $5 movies and beautystuffs. then i treated myself to some fast food dinner. im in line at the Taco Bell when i see the above sign... the two new sauces are finally here!! the good folks at Grub Grade has been heralding and reviewing them for months now... looks like since October, and ive been checking every time i swing through hoping theyll finally hit st cloud. so im like *squee* cuz i love me some condiments and new food things, i order my chalupa combo and when i get up to the window im like, "can i get a bunch of each of the new sauces?"

the guys like, "what sauces?"

and im like "the new sauces." *points at the sign ON THE DRIVE THRU WINDOW showing the two new sauces* "the verde and the fire roasted."

drive thru man: "oh, we dont have the verde. we have the fire roasted though."

me: "uh, ok. can i have some of that?"

and he gives me some. and i was not satisfied, because they didnt have the frikken verde sauce, and the guy didnt know what i was talking about, and... grr. in conclusion, the fire roasted was alright... tasted kind of like barbeque. like barbeque mixed with pico de gallo. it was a nice addition to my baja chalupas, unfortunately not very spicy. looking forward to when we get the verde, hopefully soon. now im going to have to ask every time and feel like a fool because they probably wont have it for forever, grr.

so in other, more positive news, we went out the other night for birthday sushi part II aka SUSHI REMATCH with me & Jackie, Ashley, Weaver and Susannah. W&S eat at Fuji so much they know them there... when we walked in and told the manager [super nice adorable older lady] we were meeting people she was like "oh, Weaver?" like heck yes, our friend is Kind of a Big Deal at the sushi place. all was delicious as usual... we had the gyoza, Green River roll as yooj as well as our newest standby, the Super Crunchy roll [rolled in panko and deep fried! with cream cheese in it that gets all gooey!]. above is Susannah's Fancy Rainbow Roll [perhaps "super fancy"?] which i was hardcore eyeballin. look at all that pretty roe! the black kind was all shiny and alluring. will definately have to order that next time.

Fuji started doing this new thing where they give you little hot towels, individually wrapped with little Fuji wrappers! at first i was like sure, ive been here a billion times and i NEVER get a hot towel, but i come with Weaver once and everyones all "hot towel? hot towel?" but i was just being unnessesarily insecure, its a new thing. and it was somewhat refreshing. they got cold quickly. then jackie tore hers off and made super attractive pasties with them.

and one fell off. hmmm i wonder if its the lack of boobage to hold them on... 

Fuji Sushi & Steakhouse
148 2nd St S
Waite Park, MN 56387
(320) 252-3838
[sadly no website, which is unfortunate because i always want to browse the extensive menu and remember what all is in my favorite rolls... i need to remember to bring home some more takeout menus.]

in semi-recent history, me and Jackie and Amyboo went to China Star, the absolute best chinese buffet in town. the food was the usual... yummy, deep fried, inauthentic but delicious, etc. Amy had a chicken wing and she made it a little hat with the adorable mini pie pan from these:

omfg mini desserts!! isnt everything cuter when its in miniture? LOOK AT THAT TINY FUCKING PIE. isnt that just the cutest thing? unfortunately... it tasted like crap. it was just a little swirl of bland-tasting whipped cream. but... mini pie plate! and theres a mini cream puff, which also tasted terrible. weird, because when you buy mini cream puffs at walmart or wherever, theyre ungodly fucking delicious. cmon China Star, i know you can get them in bulk at Apperts for super cheap.

what you can barely see in the background is an entire table of churchy people, including like four priests. when they walked in i was like "omg lol priests" and Amy was like "oh HALE NO" cuz she does not particularly like clergy. and then she was like "priests cant eat chicken!!" way to make up totally imaginary dietary rules, boo. but it is odd that every other major religion has dietary restrictions, but christians are like nope, we can eat whatever the fuck we want. even shit we dont know what it is, like basically everything at China Star. i suppose theres the no meat on fridays during lent thing, but only serious catholics do that and even then apparently seafood isnt meat. what the hale. anyways... priestly weirdness. like three of them were really fat, and the other one was super creepy churchzombie looking and the parents kept entrusting their kids to him to take them up to the buffet, and we made some innapropriate comments that would definately be sending us to hell if we believed in that sort of thing.

then someone had the novel idea to mix some chocolate ice cream from the sundae machine in with the sweet and sour sauce. and jackie was like, oh, ill eat that. at first it looked almost pretty, it was all swirly, and i was thinking that maybe it might not be so bad... i mean, ice cream, and sweet and sour sauce has the sweet factor so its kind of like a topping... it might have worked better with vanilla...

and jackie ate it.

and it was grooooosssssssss.... this is a face we rarely see in jackie. it looks kind of like an orgasm, but its actually pure revulsion. there was much groaning and 'omg its so grosssssss'es to follow. according to jackie just now: "i dont know if there are words to describe it. it... was like vomit in my mouth. like there were two seperate things going on... it was a swirling vortex of bad."

China Star
1004 Division Street
Waite Park, MN 56387
(320) 255-5588

speaking of dietary restrictions... if your husband happens to be muslim, this is an excellent way to make sure he doesnt eat your leftovers. and if hes exceptionally dumb, like Amy's hubby, you can pull it off with all sorts of things... most notably a can of cashews. hey, they could be bacon-flavored cashews, you dont know! sprinkled with powdered piggy goodness.  works every time.

Your Hooters is in Other Castle!

As a gift to me because im so fucking awesome, White Castle is opening on February 15th, my birthday. however, the Hooters sign is still in place. ten days, people. ten days. jackie and i want to handwrite a sign that says WHITE CASTLE in spray paint and hang it over ye olde hootres sign.

hardees also opened up in sartell by the new walmart. as an avid grub grade reader, i feel like i have some kind of duty to the world to visit these establishments and report back. feel free to interpret "duty" as "complusion," im sure thats how my therapist would interpret it. im really sad because my partner in overindulgence, roommate jackerella, is afraid of white castle and had a tramatic experience with a wyoming hardees back in the day and so will not be going to either of these with me!! sad face!! but i feel like i can tempt her with takeout.

speaking of takeout!!! so we've both become addicted to Big Bang Theory, myself not just because of its hilarity but because of my reoccurring sex dreams about the cast [which have led to me referring to howard wolowitz as my secret lover... therapy item #2]. the devil about this show is they are ALWAYS EATING TAKEOUT!!! like at least once an episode, and its usually chinese or thai. OH THE CRAVINGS. first thing i did when i got paid this week was get some takeout chinese.... and i think another new project may be to check out all the itty bitty takeout chinese places ive never tried because they look sketchy. possible horrible results... but possible new addiction as well.

gtg, my pizzas here... buffalo chicken, mmm.